


Moving Forward

by Bedales



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22070548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bedales/pseuds/Bedales
Summary: Post end of episode 8.  Charlotte's thoughts at home in Willingden.  Continued from original one-shot
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 118
Kudos: 348





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at any kind of fiction, although am a longtime reader of JAFF and admirer of all the other, very talented authors on here. Have felt strangely compelled to write something myself this afternoon, due to my unexpected Sanditon addiction, so I do hope you don't mind me sharing. Feel free to critique, as am quite old, so will not take offence and will take all advice offered!

Charlotte lent her forehead against the window of the chamber she shared with Allison and stared out unseeingly at the dark sky, as she sat perched on the deep sill. Her candle flickered from the slight draught sending shadows across the room as she wrapped her shawl closer around her. Allison had long since fallen asleep but Charlotte had used the excuse of wanting to finish her book as reason for staying awake but in reality it was the time of day that she allowed herself to think and remember.

During the day she worked at her chores trying to stem the tide of heartache that threatened to overwhelm her. Keeping busy meant she had less time to think and also avoided the searching gaze of Mrs Heywood who was aware that something troubled her eldest daughter but was waiting for Charlotte to confide in her as she had always done in the past.

But this time Charlotte could not open her heart to her mother for fear of unleashing such feelings that she feared she may never recover from. No, she reasoned, better to suffer in silence than to grieve her family as well. Though at night, she would gaze at the stars over the clear skies of Willingden and wonder at what might have been. Did Sidney look up at the same night sky; did he ever think of her? Did his heart ache as Charlotte’s did, when every breath in was a dull physical pain? She half hoped it did not, that Sidney had moved on, had rekindled his love for Mrs Campion. After all, Charlotte loved him; she wished him happiness didn’t she? Or did that dark part of her heart hope that he still loved only her; pined for her? 

Charlotte almost snorted; she really could not imagine Sidney pining for anything. It didn’t seem in character for him, after all he was not a hero from one of her romantic novels, although these days she could not bear to read them. Behind her she heard a rustling, as Allison moved in her sleep. She sighed quietly - three months; it had been nearly three months yet still thoughts of what might have been consumed her. If only he had proposed when they had kissed on the cliffs - surely he had thought about it. Charlotte had been so giddy with joy and love that she could barely recall what they’d discussed on the walk back to Sanditon. Where had fearless, outspoken Charlotte gone to in that moment, why hadn’t she asked what his intentions were? After all, he was a man of the world, a man with experience. Foolish, naive girl that she was, she had floated along in a haze of happiness, thinking they had all the time in the world and there was no doubt of their feelings for each other. But...but Sidney had never told her that he loved her, had never said those words out loud. Oh yes, his eyes, those dark pools of intensity, had certainly implied deep feelings but perhaps she had been mistaken? On the balcony at the assembly rooms, she had been so sure, she had been holding her breath waiting for him to finish speaking. For the thousandth time she cursed Sir Edward anew and his wretched interruption. Yet still she felt the full force of the irony - having previously berated Sidney for being taciturn and uncommunicative, the one time he had begun what seemed to be a heartfelt and romantic speech, was the only time she had most wished he would get to the point! If only, if only ... they would have been engaged and Sidney was a gentleman, he would not go back on his word. Though would Charlotte have released him, knowing that Tom faced ruin and possibly prison, with Sidney being his only chance? Would she have stepped aside to aid Mary and the children who meant so much to her? 

Charlotte shook her head, that line of thought did her no good. Sidney had never given her the option. She would never know how it could have been; women never had a choice. This would be her lot in life, working on the farm, awaiting an opportunity to move forwards with her life. She glanced over at the letter on her dressing table that had arrived yesterday. It was from Lady Susan Worcester, inviting her to stay at her home in London over the Christmas season. ‘Do come’, Susan had written, ‘I am in need of lively company and you my dear, will fit the bill beautifully. I can promise you that we will make very merry in town and if your Mother can spare you till the end of January complete, I can promise that you will have no cause to repine my invitation. Say the word and I will have my carriage despatched forthwith.’ 

On reading the letter, Charlotte had at first thought to decline, worried that she may have occasion to see the Parkers in London. However, now she reasoned with herself – Lady Susan was of the first circles after all - the Parkers, whilst a respectable family were not; surely there would be little risk of paths crossing even if they were in London at all. With all the rebuilding required, assumedly Tom and Sidney would be in Sanditon. Mary’s most recent letter had not mentioned any plans to repair to London. Perhaps, she mused, she should reconsider Susan’s offer. Spending six weeks in London may be just the tonic she needs; a change of scene, diverting entertainments and a chance to escape her melancholy, if only for a while. After all, what would she do in Willingden during the short days of winter, but go mad with thoughts of ‘what if?’ ‘Have courage Charlotte’, she said to herself. She would go to London after all and experience all it had to offer. And perhaps, just perhaps, by the time the leaves were in bud and the snowdrops appeared, her heart would ache a little less. Time to take her first step forwards. Charlotte blew out the candle and crawled into bed next to Allison, her mind now more at ease for having made a decision, but her last thoughts were of Sidney as sleep claimed her, as they had been for so many nights since the heady days of midsummer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this started as a one-shot, then another idea popped into my head this lunchtime and out this came, which works I think (or I hope!), as a second chapter.

“…would you not agree, Miss Heywood”. Charlotte suddenly started, as Lady Salisbury’s face swam into view. She had been wool-gathering again during morning visiting hours. Lady Salisbury was a close friend of Lady Susan Worcester and a regular visitor to Grosvenor Street, so it would not do to cause offence. Given Lady Salisbury had decidedly strong opinions on most matters, Charlotte murmured “indeed, your Ladyship” hoping that this neutral reply would be satisfactory for the topic under discussion. And so it proved as Lady Salisbury moved on to discuss the latest fashions from Paris. Charlotte chanced a glance at her hostess and saw that Lady Susan was looking at her with an amused expression. Since Charlotte’s arrival in London a week ago, they had spent many hours together discussing all manner of topics, including Charlotte’s departure from Sanditon and the fate of the Parker family. Sidney’s engagement to Mrs Campion had been made known in London society and when the subject had arisen, Susan had patted Charlotte’s hand kindly and told her that she was always available to talk, when Charlotte was ready to do so. However Charlotte wished to avoid further discourse on the painful topic; she constantly veered between being desperately sad and furiously angry. She had no wish to be seen as ‘poor jilted Charlotte’ (although she was fully aware that she had not actually been jilted; Sidney had made no proposal), not did she want to unleash all her anger at the way Sidney had treated her. For he had treated her badly, she saw that now. Despite telling him that she did not think badly of him that day on the cliffs, her mind was now clearer. He had not behaved in the manner befitting of a gentleman. Though he had broken no promises, he had thoughtlessly broken her heart. Perhaps he had not meant to, but to arrive in Sanditon, an engaged man, when he had so clearly raised her expectations, was unpardonable; no matter how much regret he voiced, or the look of pain on his face. His lovely face, she mused as her thoughts drifted away with her once more.

By this time Lady Salisbury was ready to depart, sailing out of the room like a stately galleon as she bid them farewell. Lady Susan smiled at Charlotte. “Well my dear, I will not ask where your mind had drifted away to. I think I can guess. However I do hope that you are not yet bored of London society?” Charlotte blushed, “oh no Susan, not at all. I do apologise, I was just thinking of home momentarily. I am enjoying my time in London immensely.” “Well, I have asked my god-daughter Cassandra to call later. You will recall that you met at dinner last week.” Charlotte nodded, she and Cassandra had spoken briefly before and after dining and had discovered they were of similar age with a shared love of reading. Cassandra was witty and amusing and Charlotte had instantly felt a friendship blossom. “I have asked Cassandra to take you to Gunter’s Tea Rooms” continued Susan. “A footman will accompany you, it will be perfectly respectable. Young girls should enjoy the companionship of those of a similar age.” “Will you not be joining us?” replied Charlotte. “Not today my dear” said Susan as she stood up and turned towards the door, “I have, er … matters to attend to”. Charlotte at once took this to mean that Susan was perhaps planning to be engaged with her ‘special friend’. The subject of the Prince Regent was not one that Charlotte had felt able to raise, reasoning that it felt indelicate to do so as an unmarried young lady. Although Susan had made reference to the fact that the Prince would likely be in attendance at a ball to be held on Christmas Eve and Charlotte was extremely intrigued to see the Prince for herself, not least because it would something of note to write to her family about.

So that afternoon found Charlotte and Cassandra sat in Gunter’s finishing their cups of tea and lavender flavoured ices having shared numerous stories from childhood to entertain each other. “Ices in December” giggled Cassandra, “how wonderfully decadent”. “Yes” replied Charlotte, “this and the walk from Grosvenor Street has positively revivified me!” Charlotte laughed aloud, telling Cassandra that it was a phrase that reminded her of a family friend. Cassandra smiled widely in response “I am so glad you have come to stay with Susan Charlotte, it has been so dull at home since Augusta married”. Augusta was Cassandra’s older sister, who had recently married and had removed to her husband’s estate in Suffolk for the winter. “I’m very glad to be here”, Charlotte responded warmly, thinking that she already felt in better spirits. At that moment though, she felt a sharp prickle at the back of her neck; almost a burning sensation. She began to raise her hand to rub at the offending piece of skin when her movement was arrested by the deep timbre of a familiar voice.

“Miss Heywood”

She did not need to move her head to know whose voice that was and her heart plummeted to her stomach. She caught Cassandra’s eye who was looking quizzically at her, given that Cassandra was facing the gentleman. Slowly Charlotte turned around and stood up. “Mr Parker. How unexpected. Good day to you Sir. And Mr Crowe as well!” as Charlotte noticed that Sidney was not alone. “How do you do. May I present my friend Miss Cassandra Price?” To her horror, Charlotte’s voice had turned decidedly high pitched and breathless and she cleared her throat in confusion.

“Good day Miss Heywood. Fancy seeing you again and in London no less, but Miss Price and I are well acquainted” replied Crowe in his usual droll fashion. “Our mothers are the closest of intimates”. Cassandra gave Crowe a friendly greeting and Charlotte briefly closed her eyes. ‘Botheration’ she thought, why had it not occurred to her that Sidney’s society chums might create a link to her new friends? There followed an awkward silence, as Sidney stared at her unsmilingly and Crowe looked decidedly bemused as he glanced from one to the other. Charlotte could feel herself blushing and glancing at Cassandra, felt moved to speak at the same time as Sidney did likewise.

“Are your family in good health?”

“I had not realised you were in London …”

“Forgive me Mr Parker, I interrupted you, pray continue”. “Not at all Miss Heywood, I was merely going to observe that I had not realised you were going to be in London for the season. Mary did not mention that you had left Willingden”.

“Ah yes” Charlotte paused thinking quickly, as she had deliberately not wanted to alert the Parkers to her presence in town. “I do owe dear Mary a letter. It all happened so quickly, but I have been in London this past sennight. Are Mary and Tom in London as well?”

“No” replied Sidney shortly. “There is much to do in Sanditon this winter. Though Arthur and Diana are currently in residence at Bedford Place”.

“I see” replied Charlotte, “well do extend my warmest greetings to Mr and Miss Parker. I do hope they are in good health”. Charlotte took a deep breath, she was not going to enquire after Mrs Campion. She had already asked once after his wedding plans, the answer being a dagger to her heart and she would not do so again. In fact, for all she knew, they may already be married and she had no wish to learn of that information in the middle of Gunter’s. “Well” she continued, “you must excuse us, Miss Price and I must be returning to…to …Miss Price and I should be returning now” she finished lamely, making it quite obvious that she had no intention of mentioning where she was staying and with whom. It was none of his business.

Sidney narrowed his eyes and Charlotte could see the familiar clench of his jaw. She had annoyed him. ‘Good’ she thought. Better that, than appearing like a lovelorn fool or breaking down in tears. Cassandra having listened to the exchange with great interest, moved to Charlotte’s side and took her arm, politely bidding farewell to Sidney and Crowe. “I will say goodbye for now then Miss Heywood” said Sidney, gazing at Charlotte intently, “and to you Miss Price” he added. “Perhaps we might chance upon one another again”, this last comment being squarely directed at Charlotte.

Cassandra ushered Charlotte out the door and into Berkeley Square, just as Charlotte felt her knees begin to wobble. Fortunately the cool December air was a balm to her heightened emotions and she took a few shallow breaths to recover her equilibrium. “Well goodness me” said Cassandra, with her usual forthrightness looking Charlotte in the eye, as they walked slowly westwards across Berkeley Square, “so that is the infamous Sidney Parker”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned, I have not written fiction since school and that was many decades ago! I've certainly never tried regency fan fiction. So all grammatical errors, poor syntax and glaring anachronisms are all mine and please forgive them. I've been inspired by all the wonderful writers on this site to have a little go myself. Thank you for letting me share.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea where I am going with this, just keeps popping into my head, which is annoying because I am supposed to be working! So please have low expectations as I admit I have not approached this properly and have not plotted out at all.

Sidney was still frowning as Charlotte and Cassandra made their escape from Gunter’s. His heart was still thumping to such a degree he was surprised that the other patrons could not hear it. 

He had thought his ears were deceiving him when he had heard that throaty yet musical laugh as he entered the tearooms. When he’d turned his eyes to the source of the noise and had seen a finely dressed young lady, hair pinned up and hidden by a bonnet, he had determined that it could not possibly be Charlotte. However at that moment she had momentarily turned her head and it was unmistakably Charlotte’s profile. Her long lashes, her button nose, her generous lips. And her neck, he had dreamt of her neck; and the way she had looked in the gold dress the night of the London ball as she had walked down the stairs towards him. 

As he had stood there, frozen, staring at her neck, he had noticed her companion gazing at him with undisguised interest. He quickly schooled his features into as neutral expression as he could manage and had uttered the only words that had come to mind - “Miss Heywood”. 

“Well, that was a turn up for the books Parker!”, cried Crowe as he slapped Sidney on the shoulder jolting him back to reality as his heart rate returned to normal. “Who would have thought we would have found spunky Miss Heywood in Gunter’s today with old Cassie. She was looking rather delectable I must say, the country air clearly does wonders for the fairer sex.” “For God’s sake lower your voice” growled Sidney in response though thankfully Gunter’s was relatively busy and noisy so Crowe’s comments went unnoticed, “and remind me why we have come here again?”. Crowe sighed “I promised Mater I would meet her here, but Cassie said she had not seen her today, she must have been detained. Although to be perfectly honest, I am about an hour late, or is it two hours?” finished Crowe as he squinted at his pocket watch. “Let’s head back to our club and I will send a note round to Albemarle Street to enquire. I am in need of a drink”. 

“But why were you due to meet her here anyway?” asked Sidney as they walked out and towards St James. “Oh that” replied Crowe wearily, “I am sure it was some scheme of Mater’s to introduce me to some eligible young thing. She is desperate to see me leg-shackled these days. I blame Babbers, the romantic fool, for putting such ideas in her head and now you of course are due to join the ranks of the unhappily wed, I will never hear the end of it. It’s a damned nuisance I must say.” 

‘Leg-shackled’ thought Sidney grimly. That was the certainly the word. Eliza had kept him on a tight leash since the engagement, parading him around her society friends like he was another one of her lap-dogs. He had only escaped today by virtue of needing to meet with his lawyer this morning. No doubt Eliza would demand to know what he had been doing for the rest of the day. She had grown increasingly shrill and demanding as the weeks went past. If she got wind of the fact that he had seen Charlotte; that she was in London at all, a row would likely ensue. Although Eliza had never directly asked Sidney about his feelings for Charlotte, she certainly had her suspicions. She had gone to great pains to criticise Charlotte after their brief conversation at Babbington’s wedding, almost to the point of wanting to provoke Sidney’s temper. It had taken all of his self-control to remain silent and appear unperturbed on that occasion. He had quite soon come to the realisation that the Eliza he remembered, the Eliza that had haunted his dreams as he had fled to Antigua, was not the person he was affianced to. He’d had some inkling of this that day at the regatta, but it had not taken long for the scales to fall away completely. He had put the idealised memory of his first love on a pedestal, whereas in reality, Eliza had coolly jilted him for a richer prospect and had not looked back. She was in essentials, all that she had ever been, he had simply been too young and naïve to see it at that time. Too blinded by her beauty and her manners. Arthur in his curiously prescient way had the right of it; he could not trust her. 

Crowe was being sarcastic when he mentioned unhappily wed, but had unwittingly hit the nail on the head. Sidney had not confided in Crowe as to the details of his engagement and Crowe had not been present at the midsummer ball. In any event, what would he say? That he had paraded himself around all of the bankers in London to have doors firmly slammed in his face, so that when Eliza had arrived at Bedford Place and less than subtly suggested an answer to Tom’s situation, he had panicked in that moment and agreed? It was only later that night, when he had sat with a drink in the study, that he realised he had made a truly monumental mistake. All he could picture was Charlotte’s face, her look of love and trust as he had bid her farewell the previous week. That she would be waiting in Sanditon for him to return and propose – there was no other possible expectation on her part after what he had said to her – indeed he had wanted nothing more than to do just that. What on earth had he done; why did he not have Charlotte’s cool and rational head in times of stress before rushing ahead? She had proved this time and again, with old Stringer, with Otis, at the fire. Whereas he was perhaps more like Tom than he would care to admit. 

And now, at a point where he had accepted that he would never see Charlotte again; that he had no choice but to make the best of a bad situation, there she was. The mere sight of her had driven all other thoughts from his head. He knew in that moment that his feelings for her were as strong as ever. What Charlotte had been thinking he could scarcely guess. She had been polite yet distant, although that was hardly surprising given their parting. He still felt the shame of how he had behaved that day, asking her not to think badly of him. Not think badly of him? How could she do anything else – he had selfishly wanted to gratify his wish of seeing her one last time, yet all he had done was reduce her to tears again and then had to watch her carriage drive away whilst simultaneously feeling that his heart was being wrenched out of his chest. He hadn’t even managed to apologise to her; what type of man did that make him? 

Alongside him, Crowe chattered away, but Sidney barely heard a word. All he could think was that Charlotte was nearby. Yes, he was engaged to Eliza, but he needed to set his mind at rest to know that Charlotte was well. He had not lied when he had told Charlotte that he wished her every happiness in the future. What he actually meant by that phrase he did not care to closely examine in that moment, given that it would probably kill him to hear that Charlotte was in love with another for instance. Sidney put that thought to one side. Yes, he would task Crowe with finding out where Charlotte was staying and with whom. If Lady Crowe was acquainted with Miss Price, it could not be that difficult. He followed Crowe up the steps into White’s and wondered if he could find anyone to box that afternoon. He suddenly felt a great need to punch something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be at the end of my creative spurt - not sure I have the talent and skills to progress this much further. I love the writing but do not have the imagination of some of the brilliant authors on this site to dream up a well plotted story. This started as a distraction because I remain highly annoyed at ITV for cancelling the show. Thank you though for the kind comments, it has been thrilling to know that you have been reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter. Still struggling to work out how I get to a HEA from here!

As Charlotte and Cassandra walked back to Grosvenor Street, with the footman trailing behind, Charlotte asked Cassandra what she had meant by the ‘infamous Sidney Parker’ remark. 

“Well, I have heard Sebastian mention him of course, but I have never met him before today” replied Cassandra. “Sebastian?” said Charlotte looking puzzled. “Yes, that is Mr Crowe’s given name” laughed Cassandra merrily, “didn’t you know? He actually hates being called Sebastian, but I think it rather suits him! Anyway, back to your Mr Parker” she continued, giving Charlotte a rather sly look, “ he is rather handsome isn’t he, I had heard something to that effect.”

Charlotte could feel herself blushing, “I can assure you he is not my Mr Parker. I happened to stay with his brother, Mr Tom Parker and his wife in Sanditon this summer. I am simply a friend of the family. Mr Sidney Parker is engaged to be married”.

“Is he now” Cassandra looked thoughtful “is that why you looked fit to swoon back at the tea rooms?”

“Cassandra!” huffed Charlotte, “I did no such thing. I was merely … surprised to see Mr Parker; I had thought the family would be in Sanditon for the winter. There will be much work to be done to ready the town for the spring and summer season next year.”

“Hmm, I see. And I presume he is the chap that is marrying the widowed Mrs Campion? I had heard something about that.”

“Yes” said Charlotte shortly. “They are old acquaintances, recently reunited.”

“So I hear. Well he was certainly looking at you rather intently for an engaged gentleman. Why do I feel that there is some secret here to be discovered?” Cassandra smiled and gave Charlotte’s arm a squeeze. “Never fear though, I shall not pry and I shall not gossip. But I am a very sympathetic listener should you ever have need of one.” Charlotte’s thoughts immediately turned to Mr Stringer and a similar conversation, but that was immediately before she and Sidney went rowing, a memory that was too treasured and too painful to deal with now, so she turned and thanked Cassandra, but reassured her that she had nothing to confide. Fortunately, they had by now reached the steps of Susan’s house in Grosvenor Street. “Are you coming in” enquired Charlotte? “No I must return home” replied Cassandra. “If your footman can be good enough to escort me back to Grosvenor Square, it will be quicker to walk than to call for the carriage”. 

Charlotte waved goodbye to her new friend, grateful that Cassandra appeared genuine, unlike the experience of trying to befriend Clara Brereton when she had first arrived in Sanditon.

As she entered the portico, Carter the butler approached. “Is Lady Susan home yet?” she enquired. “No Miss, she is not” replied Carter. “However you do have a visitor, who insisted on waiting to see if you returned. I realise that it is not normal visiting hours, but she was most insistent and said that you were acquainted. I took the liberty of asking her to wait in the morning room”. 

“A visitor, for me?” Charlotte said in surprise. She could not imagine who on earth it could be and in her bemusement did not ask Carter for the name. She walked down the hallway towards the morning room, where the footman stationed outside opened the door to admit her. She walked in and let out a short breath in shock as she saw Mrs Eliza Campion rising from her chair.

“Mrs Campion, this is a surprise, please do sit down”.

“Miss Heywood. I had been meaning to call upon Lady Worcester, then a friend told me this morning that she had a young guest up from the country. It was not long before I discovered that guest was you”. 

“I see, well, as you may know Lady Worcester is from home this afternoon.”

“Indeed, but that is fortuitous as it is you I wished to speak to”.

“Me? I cannot imagine what you might wish to speak to me about Mrs Campion. I am only in town visiting a friend for a few weeks.”

“May I speak plainly Miss Heywood. I find it hard to believe that your coming to London at the same time that Sidney has returned from Sanditon is a simple coincidence”.

“I beg your pardon” said Charlotte hotly, “but it is a coincidence if that is indeed what has happened. I can assure you I have had no prior knowledge of Mr Parker’s whereabouts. I have no idea what you are insinuating.”

“I am merely stating Miss Heywood, that I would prefer you to stay away from my fiancé. Your rather clumsy attempts to attract his attention at the regatta and the Babbington wedding could hardly go unnoticed. I realise you are from an insignificant village in the country and not accustomed to London society, but here it is not the done thing to chase after an engaged man. Can you deny that you have seen him whilst you have been in town?”

Charlotte, having grown increasingly angry at Mrs Campion’s insults, flushed at this and Mrs Campion’s eyes narrowed in victory. Charlotte was undaunted though and lifted her chin, “as a matter of fact Mrs Campion, I briefly happened upon Mr Parker this very afternoon in Berkeley Square. Though as I have said, I had no notion of his being in London, given there must be much to do in Sanditon this winter. And I certainly have no plans to be in Mr Parker’s company again”.

“Sanditon” Mrs Campion almost spat the word. “I am weary of hearing the name of that wretched place. There is no reason for him to spend so much time in Sanditon spending all his days dealing with matters that should be attended to by others; surely that is what the workers are for. I cannot for the life of me understand Sidney’s attachment to the place and his recent desire to take so many solitary walks along the cliffs.” 

Charlotte’s heart clenched at Mrs Campion’s words but she strove to keep her face composed. Did Sidney think of her as he walked the cliffs – is that why he chose to walk there – going back to the place where they had kissed and where the future had seemed so bright?

Mrs Campion did not appear to notice that she had also let slip that clearly she and Sidney were not spending much time together. Charlotte felt some shame that the thought cheered her somewhat.

“Mrs Campion, I cannot imagine what you thought you may achieve in coming here today, but I would beg you not to importune me further.” 

“I have not quite finished Miss Heywood” said Mrs Campion shrilly. “I insist that you promise to stay away from Sidney. He is entirely devoted to me and has remained so for a decade since we were last parted. There, what do you have to say to that?”

“Only this; if you are so secure in his affections, then you can have no reason to doubt his honour or to insult me so grievously entirely without foundation. I may only be an insignificant farmer’s daughter from the country, however you have widely mistaken my character if you believe that I would engage in any sort of impropriety.”

Charlotte watched Mrs Campion flush red as she spoke and knew that her words had hit their target. Mrs Campion was not secure in Sidney’s affections and wished to warn Charlotte off because she saw her as a rival. Clearly Sidney had ignored Charlotte’s request, that day they had parted, that he should try and make Mrs Campion happy. 

“I will bid good day to you Mrs Campion, you can now have nothing further to say” Charlotte stood and pointedly moved towards the door. “Shall I send your compliments to Lady Worcester?” Mrs Campion rose and marched out without saying another word. Charlotte let out a breath and sank down into the chair again. She recollected Esther Babbington once telling her that she would likely regret ever setting foot in Sanditon; now she began to believe Esther was right. Was she to be trapped in this purgatory forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for the comments and kudos, much appreciated. Apologies for borrowing some Austen words and phrases in this - Mrs C started to morph into Lady C! I may end up in purgatory myself as although would love to finish this properly, am now back at work full time and need to focus. I will never ever complain about unfinished fics again, as I now realise how hard it is to write!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for slower update, but I've been trying to find a way to a HEA!

Two days later, Sidney continued to be in a foul temper. Whilst thanks to Crowe he now knew where Charlotte was staying – to be honest he could have guessed that her new friend Lady Susan would take Charlotte under her wing – he was no further forward in being able to see or speak to her. He could hardly call upon Lady Susan during visiting hours, given the likelihood of her salon being full of the ladies of society and his presence at the house would raise eyebrows and give plenty of fodder to the gossips. It would likely get back to Eliza within hours and Eliza had been acting oddly enough during the last couple of days, he had no wish to cause a further scene. 

What to do? He had already visited Gunter’s again; however there had been no sign of her. He had taken a carriage ride through Hyde Park during the fashionable hour although that had been at Eliza’s insistence, but still he had kept his eyes open, however he had been careful not to raise Eliza’s suspicions. Sidney had seriously contemplated walking up and down Grosvenor Street all day in the hope of bumping into Charlotte as she left the house, but realised that he ran the dual risk of both being spotted and appearing slightly addlepated. 

At length, for the sake of dissipating some of his pent up energy, he decided upon a trip to Hatchards in Piccadilly. As he walked between the packed bookshelves towards the back of the shop, he suddenly stopped, wondering if he had simply summoned her by virtue of thought alone. For there Charlotte stood, book in hand, as she perused it intently. This time though, he did not catch her unawares as she looked up as he approached. 

“Mr Parker. Or should I call you the ubiquitous Mr Parker to run into you again so soon? This is a surprise; didn’t you once tell me this was a city of one million people? “ Charlotte smiled as she spoke, but Sidney could see that the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Miss Heywood. I am pleased to see you. Perhaps as someone once said ‘fate will find a way’? I confess I am less than surprised to find you at the booksellers.

“Ah you are quoting the classics again, Virgil this time. Well I have little faith in fate these days. I have a more prosaic reason for being here; I am choosing some books as gifts for when I return home. And you?” Charlotte gave Sidney a coolly appraising look.

“The very same. I had promised Henry and the girls I would bring them a new picture book when I return to Sanditon”. 

Charlotte’s face softened at the mention of the children and Sidney’s obvious fondness for them. “How are they? I confess I miss them dearly, even though I have numerous siblings of my own. I was just looking for a picture book for my youngest brother John. He is about Henry’s age. Look, here is the book of rhymes I had selected, perhaps Henry might enjoy a similar book?”

As Sidney reached forward to take the book from Charlotte’s hand, his fingers brushed against her gloveless ones and he deliberately let them linger for longer than was strictly necessary. An immediate red flush stained Charlotte’s neck and face and he realised that she was as affected by their nearness as he. 

Sidney looked around before lowering his voice “Are you here alone Miss Heywood?” “Only briefly” replied Charlotte, her eyes still trained on the book in Sidney’s hand. “Lady Susan is at the linen-drapers, she will come and collect me when she is finished. She knew I would be more than happy to spend more time in the depths of Hatchards. We are then headed to the modiste for our dress fittings for Lady Alfreton’s ball on Christmas Eve.” At the mention of dress fittings, Charlotte lifted her eyes to Sidney, both instantly recollecting their conversation on the cliffs that summer.

“Then I am glad to catch you for a moment Charlotte.” Sidney stared at her with his familiar intensity, yet his eyes were softly appraising. “I have wanted very much to ask if you are well.”

Charlotte almost flinched at her name on his lips. “You must not be so familiar in public sir, it is not appropriate. But to answer your question, I am well enough as you can see. One day I hope to be quite well again. Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” Charlotte stopped at this, frowned and looked down at her shoes, as she appeared to fight for composure. “Please excuse me,” she stammered, “I have said too much as usual”.

Sidney had never wanted anything so much in that moment as to crush her to him, hold her tightly and never let her go. “Charlotte” he breathed “are you not angry with me?”

Charlotte looked up at him, her eyes flashing, full of passion and pain. “Of course I am angry. I am so very angry with you at times. But what good does it do? You made a choice and now we must live with it. I once read that when pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure. I must hope that is my future. However we cannot talk more of this. I deserve to be as happy as everyone else and you will have a wife to care for. We must not keep meeting, by accident or otherwise. I fear that Mrs Campion would not approve.”

Sidney gave a tight half smile, “you appear to care for Mrs Campion’s opinion more than I do at present. Yet you must know, it was never a choice for me but a necessity. What I would do if things were different…” Sidney’s voice tailed off. “But you are right of course. You have always been right about everything. I should go now, you must have long been desiring my absence” and with one final look of longing as he handed the book back to Charlotte and turned on his heel and left. 

As he strode down Piccadilly oblivious to his surroundings, Sidney’s thoughts were in disarray. ‘What torture this is’ he muttered to himself. In love with one woman and engaged to another. He had no other alternative though than to keep moving forward on this path he had set himself. Whilst he could, and did, blame Tom from the very depths of his soul; as Charlotte had said, he had made a decision and there was no backing out of it. God help him; he thought he might be driven mad by it. He pulled savagely at the cravat around his neck, suddenly finding it too confining, cursing his valet under his breath for tying it too tight. Or was it simply the impending sense of the noose tightening that made him gasp for air?

Despondently he turned his mind to matters of business such as the marriage articles and the papers concerning the investment in Sanditon; there was no point putting it off. For that was what he felt his marriage would be, a business transaction. Having visited his attorney earlier in the week to finalise some details, the papers were now drafted and sat on the desk in Bedford Place. He headed home intent on collecting them with a view to calling on Eliza to get them approved.

Eliza however had other ideas. “Sidney’ she said turning her head away with a slight laugh, “ you know I find such matters tedious. Let us discuss the wedding plans instead.” She smiled brightly at Sidney. “I have been thinking dear, that perhaps we should move the wedding forwards somewhat; perhaps to early January? In that way we could take a wedding trip and still be back for the spring season?” “What nonsense is this Eliza?” replied Sidney staring at her in amazement. “You have spent weeks planning around an April date, telling me that it would be a society event to hold the wedding in April when all of the beau monde will be in town. And what about all of the elaborate preparations that you have said are essential and will take months to organise? “ Whilst privately, Sidney had no wish for a large society wedding to witness what he felt would be a travesty of a ceremony, he had even less wish to bring it forward by several weeks.

“Well”, Eliza continued her smile faltering a little and wringing her hands together in her lap, “I have been thinking that it would be as well to be married sooner rather than later, so we can start our new life together. The way it always should have been.”

“For heaven’s sake; have we not discussed the wedding details enough – let us leave arrangements as they are. I need to be around at present to oversee the works in Sanditon over the winter months, now that I am taking charge of the financial aspects to assist Tom” said Sidney, somewhat wearily. 

“And God forbid that you neglect Tom and Sanditon!” snapped Eliza with contempt, her mouth twisting in fury. “Are our whole lives to revolve around your family’s obsession with that place? What of me; do I not matter?” 

Sidney was momentarily dumbfounded by her obvious hostility. In his most placatory voice, he tried again. “Eliza, of course you matter. But you are well aware that we came to a mutually beneficial arrangement. You agreed to put funds into the rebuilding of Sanditon in return for us marrying. We have been nothing but honest with each other on this score and that is a good foundation for our marriage. Tom and I are very grateful for the funds you have already invested to get the rebuilding work underway. In fact I have brought the investment papers with me so that we can properly formalise the arrangements.” 

Eliza had abruptly stood at the mention of honesty and walked away from him toward the window where she looked out onto Curzon Street. She appeared to be breathing heavily and her voice sounded unsteady. “Sidney, I have already told you, I have no wish to discuss these unspeakably dull matters today. Why will you not oblige me in this? Surely it can wait till after our marriage?”

Sidney sighed in frustration. “It really cannot wait Eliza, I have tried to raise this with you three times already. There will be a number of bills to pay in the next few months and we must have the contracts in place. I do not understand why you wish to delay. This is as much to protect you and your fortune given, as your husband, the law would grant me ready access to your money without needing your consent? Come; please sit down at the table and I will take you through the papers so you can sign them, or shall we go directly to your personal attorney and you can sign them in his presence? He can also look at the marriage articles at the same time; given you have no male relative to act on your behalf. We must have this sorted out before we are married, it is a matter of principle for me”.

“No!” Eliza spun around, her colour high and her eyes wild. “I forbid you to speak to my attorney”, she shrieked in agitation. Sidney looked at her in bewilderment for a moment, completely unable to account for her distress. Then, like the storm clouds clearing after the rain and with a creeping sense of dread, a new thought crystallised in his mind. He stood and faced her with a serious look. “Eliza, is there some sort of problem with releasing the money?” Eliza’s face which was already red, now started to crumple in on itself, as tears began to flow. “It is all Mr Campion’s fault”, she sobbed. “He was of the mind that a young widow should not have full access to her inheritance immediately in case she falls prey to a fortune hunter. So in his will he made sure that the bulk of the money is tied up for three years following his death. I do not have ready access to large sums of cash, it is all invested.” 

“And you are telling me this now?” shouted Sidney unable to form a more coherent thought. He sank down in the nearest chair, his head in his hands. Eliza rushed towards the chair, still sobbing, and sank down beside it clutching at his forearms. “But Sidney, this does not have to change anything between us” she pleaded, the tears still running down her face. “The money will be ours eventually, we will still marry and all will be well. We have waited for so long, we were always in love and meant to be together.”

Sidney shrugged off her hand and looked at her incredulously. “And what of Tom and the debts I have guaranteed to settle? Do you imagine I would leave him in a debtors’ prison whilst we take a wedding trip? Have you completely lost your mind? This whole arrangement was your suggestion! To tell me now that you were barefaced lying about investing the money in Sanditon? I can scarce believe it.” He stood up sharply, walked to the mantelpiece and leant heavily against it. “Oh god” he cried, “oh god, what a mess.”

Eliza had risen to sit in a chair by this point and was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. “You will find another solution for Tom and we will still marry, won’t we Sidney”, she said imploringly. “You would not go back on your word and we have always been so well suited. I knew that once we had become reunited, the money would not really matter and you would remember how you have always felt about me. You cannot cry off now, it is a matter of honour.” 

Sidney’s disturbance of mind was so great he hardly knew what to think. “Cry off?” he bellowed as he turned and paced up and down. “You cannot think for one moment that I would go through with a wedding when you have so blatantly lied? Sue me for breach of promise if you like, but I assure you I would be more than happy to let the sordid details of our arrangements be known. What care I for my reputation? It is your reputation that would suffer” He raised his hands in the air in a gesture of utter frustration. “It is almost laughable – your husband sought to save you from a fortune hunter, and that is exactly what I have been!”

Eliza began to cry again, but this time she was brimming with anger. “This is all to do with that country governess throwing herself at you isn’t it. You cannot deny it; I know she is in London, staying with the Prince Regent’s strumpet. She told me herself that she had seen you.”

Sidney suddenly stopped pacing. “What?” he ground out. “What are you talking about?”

“That Heywood girl” she screeched. “Is she not your mistress?”

“No she is not” he replied in his iciest tone with a look of fury on his face. “How dare you insult her in such a way. This has nothing to do with Miss Heywood. This is all to do with you and your lies!” Sidney took a deep breath as he strove for composure. “I am a such a fool; but no more. You will have to find a way out of this problem of your own making. Given you have jilted me once, I cannot imagine that the ton will disbelieve that you have jilted me again.” 

“But Sidney…”

“You have said quite enough Madam. I believe our association is at an end. Be thankful that I will let you concoct a story to protect your reputation.” And with that parting sally, he strode from the room and out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive some bending of regency detail in this! I've also borrowed some Austen phrases again - apologies for not specifically notating. I'm trying to find a route to a credible HEA but some plot lines that have occurred to me have already been done by much better authors on this site!


	6. Chapter 6

Sidney awoke the next morning with a groan as the memories of the previous day crashed over him. Upon his return to Bedford Place, he had been relieved to learn that Arthur and Diana were out and shut himself in the study with a bottle of brandy. He knew he should send an express to Tom, or better still head to Sanditon at once to break the news, but could not stir himself to do so. He had also had to resist the strong temptation to hotfoot it to Grosvenor Street to throw himself at Charlotte’s feet and beg her for another chance. He felt a sense of utter self-loathing. What misjudgement at every turn! To have sold himself to Eliza only to find out that it had all been an elaborate ruse. To have broken Charlotte’s tender heart for nothing because Eliza had been determined to have him and at any cost. And now, having thought that he had at least saved Tom, Mary and the children from ignominy even if at the expense of his own happiness; whilst he was free of Eliza he had neither the means to save Sanditon, nor was any closer to being reunited with the one he truly loved. 

Whilst he felt tremendous relief to now be released from his engagement, he could hardly tell how Charlotte would take the news. Although he longed to offer his hand immediately, he could not be sure that Charlotte would still feel the same way as he thought she once had. On reflection he realised that they had spent virtually no time in each other’s company that was not either cloaked in strife of some sort, or serious misunderstanding. Did Charlotte see him for who he truly was and know him well enough to love him? Breaking an engagement was no small thing; there would be the stench of scandal attached. Combine that with the disgrace that would surely befall the Parker family when Tom’s debts were called in, he could hardly recommend himself as an ideal prospect. Charlotte was of age, but he could imagine she would want her father’s blessing given her obvious closeness with her family. 

For a moment, he closed his eyes and imagined presenting himself at the Heywood’s estate to press his suit. He thought of the long and tortuous account he would have to share of his growing affections for Charlotte, punctuated by admissions of impropriety, sheer folly or total stupidity on his part. The meeting at the cove, the inappropriate carriage ride to rescue Georgiana, the kiss on the cliffs, the ‘almost’ proposal followed by the fire, Tom’s pending bankruptcy and his ill-advised and now broken engagement. He sighed, Mr Heywood would have every reason to chase him off his property with a shotgun regardless of Charlotte’s feelings in the matter.

Having staggered down to the breakfast room nursing a sore head, Sidney was morosely drinking his coffee when Lord Babington was announced. “Good heavens man, you look like you have not slept in months,” said Babington, plonking himself down into the nearest chair and pouring a coffee. “I can guess what is amiss with you.”

“I would sincerely doubt that,” replied Sidney tersely, still fixedly staring at his cup. “You do not know the half of it.”

“Well I believe I have been given a clue,” continued Babington good-naturedly. “Esther and I had a visit from Lady Susan Worcester the other afternoon. She told us about your predicament.”

Sidney’s head snapped up. “What are you talking about?” 

“Come now old friend, you can confide in me,” said Babington smiling sympathetically. “I had thought the night of the midsummer ball that you were smitten with Miss Heywood, but then when you got engaged to Eliza I could only presume that you had changed your mind for some reason. I confess the joy of my own marriage made it slip my mind for some weeks. It was Esther who thought there may be more to it and now Lady Susan has filled in the gaps.” 

Sidney groaned anew. “I have made such a complete and utter mess of everything Babington. I was on the verge of proposing to Charlotte when Sir Edward staggered in and ruined the evening. Then the fire broke out and I discover that Tom had not insured the buildings so he was in danger of being carted off to the debtors’ prison if Lady Denham had her way. I tried to borrow more, but the bankers would not hear of it. I was at my wits end when Eliza offered us a lifeline in return for marriage and to my eternal disgust, I agreed to the arrangement.” 

“And what of Miss Heywood?”

“That is what haunts me Babington,” Sidney dragged his hand across his face in anguish, “she was waiting in Sanditon for my return, in all expectation of my proposal. The look on her face when I told her I was engaged to Eliza; I shall never forget it. And now was all for naught. Eliza does not even have ready access to her fortune; it was a trick on her part to get me to marry her. She knew I was in love with Charlotte. So I have broken my engagement to her, I cannot possibly go through with it under such false pretences and with no money to save Sanditon, there is no point to such an arrangement in any event.” His words came out in a rush and Sidney felt the blessed relief of being able to speak of his problems. “I must go now to Sanditon and break the bad news to Tom and Lady Denham that there will be no more money. And as for Charlotte, she must think I am the worst sort of man…” Sidney trailed off, staring into the distance, unable to further verbalise his thoughts.

Babington coughed discreetly, drawing Sidney’s attention back to the room. “At least I can share good news to solve one of your problems old friend. Lady Worcester told us of the real reason for your engagement to Mrs Campion and Lady Denham’s threat to throw Tom in jail. Esther and I were horrified of course that she would even think of ruining the family of one of my oldest friends. We are just returned from a trip to Sanditon House. Esther told Lady Denham in no uncertain terms that she would cut ties with her completely if Lady D were to pursue a debt against Tom with such vengeance. I think the old girl is secretly rather fond of Esther as it took the wind right out of her sails. We told her that we wanted to free you from the engagement to Mrs Campion that you had made simply to save Tom; however you seem to have got there before us!” 

Sidney stared at him open-mouthed. “Do you mean Lady Denham will give us time to find a new investor?”

Babington laughed at his incredulity “yes that is exactly what I am saying. Although she still expects you to be in charge of the financial management of Sanditon. I am afraid she is still rather vexed with your brother.”

Sidney felt his head might explode with the sudden lifting of the burden he had been carrying. “But now at least Tom will live to fight another day, though he does not know to whom he owes such thanks”.

“Oh I fear he does” Babington continued with a smirk, “Esther insisted on stopping off at Trafalgar House and gave him a fearful dressing down about you and Miss Heywood. She has never forgotten Miss Heywood’s kindness to her the night of the midsummer ball and is quite her staunch defender. Tom was so shocked he could scarce utter a word for a full five minutes! He soon recovered though and penned you a note; I have it here.”

Babington reached into his jacket and passed a letter over to Sidney, who was still looking dazed and bemused. “Come now old chap,” he said gently, “ did you not think your friends would want to assist you if they could? And you have yet to hear the best news. Lady Worcester has been busy championing Sandition amongst her friends. She has even committed a sum for investment herself. I am sure that Tom’s note will be full of it. He was full of plans and schemes when we left.”

Laughing and wiping at his eyes, Sydney was overcome with sudden emotion. “I must allow that I had resigned myself to my fate. I am now able to contemplate an entirely different future and I find I am overwhelmed at the thought that happiness might be within my grasp after all.“ He looked up at Babington with a sad half smile. “If only I felt worthy of Charlotte, to be able to court her as she deserves. I fear now she will never trust me again. And with good reason.”

“What?” said Babington leaning back in his chair “is the great Sidney Parker asking my advice on how to romance a lady? Will wonders never cease? Good Lord man, how do you think I won Esther over in the end, you can’t be downhearted, you have to fight for her! Now then, it is Lady Sefton’s ball tomorrow evening and Miss Heywood will be there. What better chance will you get to speak to her?”

“But I am not invited to Lady Sefton’s ball.”

“You are now; Esther has put in a good word for you. We will collect you in our carriage at 8 o’clock.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, still plotting for a HEA. Thank you all for the encouragement. Lots of other wonderful writing on the site, so trying to think of something a little original is hard!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay - real life and writers block combined!

Lady Esther Babington rolled her eyes; men really are ridiculous she thought, as she watched Sidney Parker nervously pull at his waistcoat for at least the third time in the last two minutes. He then proceeded to frantically run his hands through his hair then tug at his left earlobe whilst taking a couple of gulping breaths.

“Are you feeling quite well Mr Parker?” said Esther raising her eyebrow sardonically.

Sidney looked up at Lady Babington, almost seeming surprised by the presence of the other occupants of the carriage.  
“My apologies Lady Babington, I fear I was not attending. Yes I am quite well this evening.”

Babington chortled and patted his wife’s hand, “Dearest Esther, you must not tease him, even if he does look like the condemned man on the way to the gallows!” Pleased with his own joke, he smiled broadly at Sidney, who glared back at him. “Come now, we are going to a ball and you will have a chance to talk and to dance with the object of your desires. What could possibly go amiss?” 

“When it comes to Miss Heywood, myself and balls then quite a lot can go amiss, as I think you are aware” replied Sidney curtly turning his head to stare out of the window, although it was so dark out he could likely only see his own reflection. His heart was thumping in his chest as he tried to determine exactly what he would say to Charlotte. His previous attempts at conveying his feelings had not gone to plan at all – on the cliffs he had been diverted by the opportunity to kiss her, which whilst utterly glorious and unforgettable had in hindsight been a wasted opportunity to ask for her hand. Then at the midsummer ball, his sudden nervousness on the balcony and inability to find the right words whilst he clasped her hands as if his life depended on it; had meant that he had never actually got to the point before they were so rudely interrupted.

Sidney knew that he would likely have very little opportunity to talk to Charlotte in private during the evening. Of course he wanted to let Charlotte know that he was no longer an engaged man, although it was quite likely that the gossips would have already circulated that piece of news. To propose to her and go from one engagement to another would mark him out as the worst sort of cad, although he hoped that Charlotte at least would know that was not true. Therefore he reflected, that perhaps the best he could do would be to ask to formally court her, so he could prove to her that he was worthy of her love and trust. 

The carriage pulled to a stop outside the imposing façade of the Sefton home on Park Lane. Once inside, he ascended the grand geometrical staircase that was festooned with festive garlands and wreaths of white flowers. At the top of the stairs he stood behind Lord and Lady Babington waiting to greet his hosts, however his eyes roamed the room behind desperately seeking Charlotte out. The ballroom was very crowded, lit by numerous grand chandeliers and filled with the most elegant of London society. He had an uncomfortable feeling as he walked through the crowd that he was a topic of discussion. Eyes were drifting towards him; heads were turning to gossip with their neighbours. He caught the words ‘Mrs Campion’ and ‘thrown over’ as he walked past a couple of society matrons. Well if that was what Eliza was telling people, that she had thrown him over again, then he had no argument with that. Frankly he would have settled for a lot worse and was past caring what the haute ton might think. 

Babington and his wife had stopped to greet some friends. Sidney stood to the side politely listening and nodding along, but his attention was elsewhere. Every flash of dark hair made him look twice. A murmuring amongst the crowd drew his notice – the Prince Regent had made his entrance to the main ballroom accompanied by numerous hangers on. However Sidney’s eyes were drawn to the familiar face of Lady Susan Worcester who was one of the Prince’s party and lo and behold, elegantly walking behind her was Charlotte, accompanied by Miss Price, both holding an arm of a tall and well-dressed society dandy. 

Charlotte had not noticed Sidney from across the room so he was able to stare at her unabashedly whilst everyone else was distracted by the arrival of the Prince. He had thought the night of Mrs Maudsley’s ball that she had looked like a goddess as she had glowed in the golden dress. Tonight though she could almost be a Christmas angel sent to earth he mused. Her fashionably cut cream silk dress had an overlay covered with beads that sparkled in the candlelight as she moved. Her hair was elegantly piled on top of her head and studded with pearls. She was ethereal. 

Both Charlotte and Miss Price were smiling up at their companion, who appeared to be amusing them. Sidney could not help but be annoyed as he noticed that the gentleman concerned was rather too good-looking for his liking. His dislike intensified as he saw Charlotte smile broadly at her companion as he patted her hand on his arm and lent closer to speak in her ear. 

Charlotte meanwhile was feeling like a wide-eye ingénue. She could hardly believe she had arrived at a society event in the midst of the Prince Regent’s entourage. Her breath had been quite taken away when Lady Susan had introduced her to the Prince and she had nervously dipped into a deep curtsey. “So this is your young protégé from the country Susan”, the Prince had said, giving Charlotte a very appraising look from top to toe. Charlotte had hardly dared to lift her gaze, but as she did she noticed the Prince’s beady eyes lingering in the region of her bodice, which was cut lower than she had ever worn before because Susan’s modiste had insisted that this was how the fashionable ladies would be dressed. Feeling very flustered, she had summonsed a smile to her face along with a greeting in response to the Prince and noticed for the first time how very rotund he was. In fact he was not dissimilar in physique to Mr Arthur Parker, however he did not have Arthur’s kindness of expression in his features, appearing somewhat proud and superior although Charlotte thought, that was perhaps not surprising for a prince! 

By the time all these thoughts had flitted across Charlotte’s mind, the Prince had moved on leaving Charlotte to heave a sigh of relief as Cassandra nudged her elbow with a smile bringing her back to her surroundings. Charlotte had been pleased that she had a friend of her own age to accompany her at the ball and they were joined by Cassandra’s elder brother William who had gallantly escorted both of them into the ballroom. Mr Price was as lively as his sister and had kept Charlotte amused by his witty observations of the assembled company. He was tall with an open, happy countenance and a riot of blonde curls atop his head and had already chivalrously secured her hand for a set, which she had been delighted to accept. It was Christmas Eve and whilst Charlotte was missing her family, she was determined to enjoy herself even if she felt somewhat out of place in these opulent surroundings. Her personality was not built for permanent melancholy and the smiles and laughs she shared with her companions were genuine as they introduced her to their friends and acquaintances. 

As the music started for the next set, Mr Price extended his arm with a smile “are you ready Miss Heywood? I promise not to step on your toes.” Smiling back in pleasure, Charlotte took his arm as he led her onto the dance floor to join the set. “How are you liking London so far Miss Heywood?” enquired Mr Price. “I like it very well” she replied “although this is my first Christmas away from home, Lady Susan is such a gracious host that I find myself enjoying the experience very much.” 

“I am glad to hear it and I hope to have the pleasure of seeing you at other events during the season” he continued. “ Cassandra has not stopped talking about you since you met, you have clearly made quite the impression!”

Charlotte blushed as she took Mr Price’s hand to circle around him “Miss Price is too kind, I have been fortunate indeed to make her acquaintance.”

Mr Price studied her for a moment “perhaps it is my sister and I who are the fortunate ones.” Charlotte’s flush deepened a little. Although still woefully inexperienced in such matters, she thought she could detect a hint of interest in Mr Price’s eyes. ‘Why not’ she thought, ‘why should I not flirt with a handsome, intelligent man who appears to like me?’ and so she gave him a dazzling smile, which he met with a grin as they continued to dance and talk. 

As the couples circled the dance floor, she caught sight of Esther Babington standing with her husband and a group of people and gave her a warm smile of recognition. As Charlotte’s eyes continued along the row of faces, they stopped abruptly as they collided with the steady gaze of Mr Sidney Parker. Almost stumbling in surprise, she clutched Mr Price’s arm a little tighter as he looked at her with some concern. “Are you quite alright Miss Heywood?” He queried. 

“Yes, yes I am well” said Charlotte with some embarrassment. “I fear it is I who is not so proficient at dancing, “ she continued in an effort to make light of her little stumble. Would she ever stop having such a ridiculous reaction to the mere sight of Sidney? Charlotte was, in truth, surprised to see him having presupposed that Mrs Campion would be keen to make sure that their paths would not cross.

The set came to an end so Mr Price escorted Charlotte back to Lady Susan. “Ah there you are Charlotte, I trust William has been looking after you?”

“Yes indeed Susan, he has been most attentive” replied Charlotte. Mr Price bowed and departed to seek his next partner.

Lady Susan turned to Charlotte so as to speak discreetly, “some news has reached me my dear. This may not be the time or the place however I fear you may hear of it elsewhere this evening.”

Charlotte raised her eyebrows enquiringly. “What news?”

“Rumour has it that Mrs Campion appears to have had second thoughts about her marriage to Mr Parker.”

Charlotte’s mouth dropped open.

“Although” continued Lady Susan, “one imagines that the rumours emanate from Mrs Campion rather than Mr Parker in an endeavour to show the end of the engagement in a more flattering light.”

Charlotte’s frown of confusion intensified. “What can you mean” she queried, “I truly believe that Mrs Campion had no intention of throwing him over.”

“Exactly so my dear”, Susan raised her fan to cover her mouth as she continued to speak whilst inclining her head “and now is your chance to discover the truth of it.”

Charlotte turned just as Sidney approached them, her face still reflective of the shock and surprise she felt. And indeed some other emotion that she dare not examine too closely.

“Lady Worcester, Miss Heywood, good evening.” Sidney bowed politely, but his eyes were seeking Charlotte’s. “Miss Heywood, may I request the pleasure of the next dance?”

Sidney proffered his arm and Charlotte, who was still feeling too dazed to speak, could do nothing but lightly place her hand on top as she was led to the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and encouragement again. So kind of everyone. There are so many great stories on here (and I reading virtually all of them!), it's very challenging trying to find something a little bit unique to write about. Hopefully can find my way to a HEA!


	8. Chapter 8

Sidney led Charlotte to the dance floor, his heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. Glancing sideways he noticed that in contrast, Charlotte appeared to be rigid with tension and was fixedly staring ahead. ‘Say something to put her at ease’ he chided himself, ‘do not make a mess of this’.

“Are you enjoying the evening Miss Heywood” Sidney tried the first thing that entered his head as the music began.

“Yes I am, thank you.” Charlotte replied without looking at him and fell silent again as they walked through the steps of the dance.

‘Blast’ thought Sidney. He tried again. “You appear to be making quite an impression on Lady Susan’s friends” he continued, thinking he was paying her a compliment given how beautiful she looked and her ability to charm everywhere she went.

This time, Charlotte looked up sharply with a frown before lowering her gaze again. “Lady Susan and her circle of friends are most welcoming” she replied frostily, believing that he meant she was likely seen as a curiosity from the country, “I am looking forward to sharing our Christmas feast with them tomorrow evening.” Charlotte was feeling perversely annoyed in being left to wonder whether Sidney was going to mention his engagement at all. Surely he would tell her if he were no longer an engaged man, so perhaps it was just a malicious rumour? Or perhaps the gossip was true and Sidney, having been reunited with his first love was now reeling from being thrown over again?

This time it was Sidney’s turn to frown. What had he said wrong? Who was Charlotte looking forward to spending time with? Was it the man she had just been dancing with? The steps of the dance meant they were parted for a few moments, giving him chance to ruminate on this further.

“Will it be a large party tomorrow evening then?” Sidney asked rather peevishly unable, despite himself, to let the matter drop.

“Not particularly, just some intimate acquaintances.” Charlotte was confused at Sidney’s interest in this topic and felt his hand squeezing hers rather more firmly than needed for the purposes of the dance upon her reply.

By this time Sidney was feeling very unsettled, particularly by her reference to ‘intimate acquaintances’ which had led to the involuntary tightening of the grip on her hand as he was struck by an unwelcome dose of jealousy. He was now picturing the man she had been previously dancing with and gracing with her smiles, paying her particular attention on Christmas day. This conversation had got off to a disastrous start. It was only a few days ago that they had met at Hatchards and Sidney had felt that their mutual feelings for each other were still very evident; despite the fact at that time, he had still been an engaged man. Sidney’s thoughts were now racing. Had he completely misread the situation yet again, or had Charlotte found the means to move forward with her life without him? Should he broach the topic of Mrs Campion? Why did every dealing with Charlotte leave him completely befuddled?

Charlotte saved him the trouble of trying to untangle his thoughts when she could wait no longer and broke through his reverie to ask, “what news from Sanditon?”

This was his opening. He fixed her with a piercing gaze and this time she did not look away. “There is much to tell. A lot has changed in a matter of days. I have wished to apprise you of it, before rumours circulate.”

“I fear you are too late then” she replied archly. “Word has already spread.”

“Word may have spread,” he said so softly, that she had to strain to hear him. “But it is likely not an accurate retelling of events. I wish very much to talk to you about it. I came here for that express purpose.”

Charlotte’s expression appeared to relent slightly as their hands joined together for the final part of the dance. Sidney could not help but gently brush his thumbs across the back of her gloved hands, which left Charlotte feeling somewhat breathless as he continued to gaze at her, his eyes full of emotion. 

“I cannot talk to you here Mr Parker. I fear… I am not able, that is…” Charlotte trailed off unable to form a coherent sentence, as her heart thumped almost painfully in her chest. She felt terribly disconcerted and in need of time to compose herself. She was half in hope, half in despair, unsure as to what Sidney’s news might portend and how she actually felt about it. As the dance ended, she dipped into a curtsey and excused herself to return to Lady Susan’s side.

‘Blockhead!’ Sidney huffed at himself in frustration as he stalked to the side of the room where he could observe Charlotte further. He could see she was deep in animated conversation with Lady Susan and appeared somewhat distressed. He watched with concern as he saw Susan press Charlotte’s hand in sympathy before Charlotte walked away to the far end of the ballroom through the throng of the crowd and as he craned his neck, he just caught sight of the silvery beaded train of her dress disappearing through the exit.

Sidney slowly wound his way through the ballroom in the same direction, avoiding acquaintances that might wish to speak, hoping that his agitation would cease. He felt compelled to rush after Charlotte as he had done once before at the regatta. But he could hardly do so here without great injury to her reputation. Breathing deeply, he backed against the wall near the exit for a few moments whilst the next dance was in full swing to avoid drawing attention to himself. After some moments, feeling sure that no eyes were upon him, he slipped through the same exit door himself, into the relative coolness of the hallway. 

Correctly assessing that turning left would lead to the ladies retiring room, he took a gamble that Charlotte might have headed elsewhere for some solitude and took the corridor to the right. It led to a dimly lit, long gallery full of paintings and sculpture with deep window recesses on one side. In the gloom, Sidney could not see much but the room appeared unoccupied and he turned to leave thinking that perhaps she had headed to the retiring room after all, when he suddenly caught a flash of silver in the far corner of the room. Instantly he silently crossed the gallery to find Charlotte with her eyes closed and her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

“Charlotte” he whispered.

Charlotte almost jumped out of her skin as her eyes shot open in fright. 

“Mr Parker, what are you doing here?”

He took a step closer. “I need to talk to you. I want to tell you that my engagement is ended. I will not marry Mrs Campion.”  
“I know that much Mr Parker, what I do not know is why” Charlotte retorted, clenching her fists at her side.

“It was a business arrangement only and a bad one at that. Mrs Campion does not have immediate access to the funds to secure Sanditon’s future. She sought to keep that a secret until after we had married. Once I discovered this, there was no question of the marriage going ahead.” Sidney was watching Charlotte closely and saw the surprise in her face give way to other emotions.

Charlotte turned her head away slightly. “You mean you made an assumption that was proven to be incorrect once the facts were known” she said coldly. “And to think how often you accused me of doing the same. And what happens now to Sanditon?”

“Lady Denham will not call in the debt and we will find other investors, so for now the crisis is averted. But I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about you, about us.”

Charlotte turned to face him; her troubled eyes brimming with unshed tears. “There is no us Mr Parker. Once maybe. Not now, not after this.”

“You cannot mean that Charlotte” said Sidney in utter desperation. “You are all I have thought about these past months.”

“I do mean it. I have had chance to think of little else. I have come to realise that we tumbled into our … into something without really knowing each other, without fully understanding each other. Perhaps this has all been a sign that it was not meant to be, that the fates were against us all along. It will be better this way.” Charlotte’s voice began to choke with pent up emotion.

Sidney was aghast. “This is nonsense” he cried with feeling. “You know me better than I know myself. I told you once that you make me a better man and it is true. Please do not condemn me for ever for one catastrophic mistake, I beg you.”

Charlotte’s eyes flashed at him. “A mistake? Is that what you call it? I have wished so many times that you were free, but now that you are, I find myself asking how could I ever trust you again? You forsook me at the very moment I had opened my heart to you. How do I know you will not do so again? I cannot take such a risk.” Charlotte placed her crossed hands on her chest in an effort to stem the tide of emotion that was spilling forth. “You know the saying, marry in haste and repent at leisure. That is what we might have done. I do not think I could have borne it, if you had come to regret your choice.” 

He reached out his hand seeking hers, but she quickly and firmly clasped them behind her back.

Sidney’s heart was beginning to thump erratically in his chest. He was terrified that Charlotte meant what she said; after all, she often spoke from the heart. Did she really believe that they were not meant to be, or was she now as afraid as he had been of opening her heart to love, having been hurt once? For he knew only too well that he had truly hurt her. He knew he had to choose his words carefully, but his mind had gone blank and he fruitlessly grasped for the right thing to say. 

The sound of distant voices and footsteps getting nearer broke into the silence. Sidney was suddenly alive to the impropriety of the situation. He had no idea if the voices belonged to servants or to other members of the household but there would be a scandal if they were caught alone, particularly in light of the sudden ending of his engagement. He grabbed Charlotte by the shoulders and somewhat brusquely backed her into the nearest deep alcove that was partly covered by a heavy brocade curtain, as she squeaked in surprise. 

Sidney then proceeded to press her as far back into the alcove as possible and hearing the voices moving ever closer, tightly positioned himself up against her so that his taller, broader frame, clad in black, completely hid Charlotte from view. “We must ensure you are not seen, your dress gives you away. Be still” he whispered, his face close to hers.

Seeing that Charlotte was about to vocally protest at such treatment, Sidney quickly put the fingers of his left hand to her lips to silence her as he wrapped his right arm around her waist. Charlotte’s eyes opened wide in shock at the touch of his fingers against her lips. She felt herself flush red and her breath came in short pants at the feel of his arm around her. She had to fight herself to remain stiff in his arms, as the temptation to lean into him was nearly overwhelming. However much she might try to fight it, the internal battle she had been waging with herself slowly began to cease. Suddenly her doubts evaporated. Here in Sidney’s arms was where she belonged. It was a love beyond sense or reason. There was a connection between them that could not be severed.

The footsteps and chatter were now upon them. Two housemaids by the sound of it, excitedly discussing the sights and sounds of the ball. However the footsteps continued with nary a pause and continued along the gallery and out of hearing.

Sidney released the breath he had been holding and moved his head back slightly so he could see Charlotte’s face. He could feel that she was stiff in his arms, but even in the gloom of the alcove, her flushed cheeks indicated some heightened emotion. Without conscious thought, he gradually moved his fingers to softly caress her cheek and then cup her jaw, with his thumb left to trail very gently over her bottom lip. Charlotte let out a gasp and started to raise her arms from her sides. Sidney stilled for a moment, thinking that he had overstepped the mark and that she meant to push him away, but her hands came to rest on his chest and then slipped inside his jacket with her right hand covering his heart. 

Charlotte could not longer stem the tears that had been threatening and Sidney raised his other hand to her face to brush them from her cheeks and he gazed at her with a look so deeply compelling it near turned her legs to water.

“My dearest Charlotte” he said huskily. “I never want to be the cause of your tears again. I have made the most wretched of mistakes. I know I can never fully atone for what I have done. But I beg you, most fervently, to consider giving me a second chance.”

“Sidney” cried Charlotte through her tears. “I cannot have my heart broken again.”

“My love! I shall guard your heart like the treasure it is, if you would but let me.” He put his hand on hers, where it was still placed over his heart and looked at her with intense passion. “And you must know that my heart is completely in your power. Please allow me to court you, as you deserve to be courted. I have made such a mess of everything but let me assure you now of my enduring love and my loyalty. I will work tirelessly to regain your trust.” 

Charlotte looked down in an attempt to compose herself. “We have been gone a long time” she said quietly “we will have been missed.”

Sidney lifted her chin so that he could look her in the eye. “You have not yet answered my question,” he said very seriously.

There was a slight pause before Charlotte smiled tremulously and said, “Yes Sidney, you may court me. After all, did I not once say that we could rewrite our history if we found it disagreeable?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the comments, I realise I should have started answering individually. Sorry for not doing that, but I read every one. Special thanks to the recent confidence boosting one! I also saw this story being discussed on twitter which really was a particular thrill (I was too shy to join in)! I was looking for a bit of a different ending to other stories (that's the downside to reading all the other fics) but I hope this is not too cliched (or at least less cliched that it could have been!). I have an epilogue written, nearly finished so should be up by the weekend. Still got fingers crossed for season 2 but obviously looks increasingly unlikely unfortunately.


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you caught the chapter update yesterday before reading this epilogue. Sorry I have time jumped!

During the warm summer months, Charlotte greatly enjoyed days at the beach with the extended Parker clan. Henry and James both now rambunctious young boys, never still for a second. Alicia and Jenny were on the verge of becoming demure young ladies but for now still happy to join their brothers at cricket under Charlotte’s expert tutelage of course. Whilst Tom would never change from being the dreamer with his continued ambitions for the town, the continued success of Sanditon had removed the threat of debt some time ago and with it, the burdens he had carried had been lifted, making him look ten years younger than he had previously. With his new lightness of spirit and his continued efforts to not deliberately keep his troubles from Mary and treat her like a true helpmeet, meant that they lived a happy and contented family life.

Diana Parker was a Parker no longer. She had been introduced to a Dr Frederick Adams by Dr Fuchs. Dr Adams was a widower with two young daughters aged six and eight and love for Diana had blossomed whilst her various complaints and ailments had diminished under such expert care. She found herself with a ready-made family on which to lavish her all her bounteous love and devotion and was a happy and fulfilled stepmother to the girls who were ready playmates for their Parker cousins.

Arthur was a near permanent lodger with the Adams family, but no one minded given his infectious good humour. With Diana’s devotion directed towards her new family, Arthur discovered he was not quite so delicate as he had always led himself to believe and having a doctor in the family meant that help or advice was never far away in any event. Arthur and Georgiana were still fast friends and Charlotte smiled thinking of how Georgiana would love to laugh at Arthur’s antics with his nephews and nieces. Georgiana was now fully launched into London society. Lady Susan had proven to be a treasured ally yet again and had taken Georgiana under her wing and within no time Georgiana was an heiress of note. Despite many suitors at her beck and call, Georgiana was in no hurry to bind herself in marriage as she saw it and spent plenty of time in Sanditon where she was as much a part of the Parker family as anyone else. 

But for today, Charlotte let her thoughts pleasurably linger on her two favourite members of the Parker family and their own private picnic spot, as she leaned back on her canvas chair with her eyes closed enjoying the feel of the late summer sun on her face. Right on cue, a high-pitched shriek split the air. 

Charlotte opened her eyes to see Sidney bending over their fifteen-month-old daughter holding both her hands in his, high above her head as she toddled over the sand and shingle at the water’s edge. As each wave gently lapped over her toes she squealed in joy and bounced up and down as ever more of her chocolate curls threatened to escape her frilly bonnet that was shielding her delicate skin from the sun.

“Dada wet!” announced Miss Catherine Parker imperiously, lifting her arm higher in that age-old signal of wanting to be picked up. “Yes” laughed Sidney, “Dada is wet, but Kitty is wet too!” And with that, he picked his daughter up and threw her a little way into the air before catching her safely. Kitty shrieked again with happiness at this favourite game and started to giggle helplessly as Sidney proceeded to bury his nose and blow soft kisses into the crook of her neck.

Catherine had been named for Sidney’s mother, a suggestion from Charlotte that had moved Sidney considerably. Sidney had rarely discussed his mother, but Charlotte had come to learn that his grief at losing her was deep-seated but strongly felt. When Catherine had been born, she had been almost immediately nicknamed Kitty by her cousin Henry, who said that her new born mewling reminded him of his favourite kitten and thus the name had stuck.

Young Miss Kitty was the apple of her father’s eye. Charlotte had secretly wondered if Sidney might wish for a son and heir, but he had genuinely not cared so long as both Charlotte and the baby were healthy. From the moment Kitty was born, Sidney was a devoted father, his heart completely won over by the sight of his daughter for the first time, a tiny replica of her mother, right down to the dimple on her chin. Charlotte insisted that Kitty had inherited some of Sidney’s features, but had to privately admit that Kitty’s already marked stubbornness may be a Heywood trait.

Kitty’s chubby arm shot out and she pointed at the ground with glee. “Shell!” she shouted. Charlotte had to smile, ‘shell’ had been one of Kitty’s first words. She and Sidney had been bringing Kitty to ‘their’ cove since even before she was born, as Charlotte had been insistent that the sound of the sea was beneficial in soothing an active baby in her womb. 

“Ah, you are indeed your mother’s daughter” laughed Sidney, setting her to the ground so she could collect her treasure. “We know how much Mama enjoys collecting shells” he teased, unleashing such a dazzlingly attractive smile at Charlotte that her stomach flipped over, in much the same way as it had when she had first encountered Sidney at this very spot. After nearly three years of marriage, Sidney was unrecognisable from the brooding, taciturn conundrum she had first met. As she looked at him now, with his both his shirtsleeves and trousers rolled up, barefoot on the sand and a broad smile on his face, she thought him quite the most devastatingly handsome man she had ever seen. Happiness suited him.

Instinctively Charlotte lightly ran her hand over her stomach. She had been nauseous these past few mornings and felt sure it was a sign that she was increasing again. She would tell Sidney of her suspicions this evening when she was wrapped in his arms, which is how they had spent every night since they were wed. She was sure he would be overjoyed. After their reconciliation at the Christmas Eve ball, Sidney had been true to his word and had courted her assiduously including escorting her to Willingden to speak to her parents and seek her father’s blessing. Mr and Mrs Heywood had been surprised, although not overly so, given Mrs Heywood’s suspicions as to what might have ailed Charlotte during the autumn months. Although the Heywood’s had not been keen on a swift courtship to start with given the bumpy road that the couple had travelled, Charlotte’s rapturous happiness and the fact that she was already of age meant that they conceded to the inevitable in the end. Charlotte and Sidney were married on Charlotte’s birthday in late February as Charlotte declared that it would be the best birthday gift she would ever receive. Although eyebrows were raised in some quarters given it had not been that long since Sidney’s engagement to Mrs Campion had ended, the happy couple simply did not care and having decamped to the quiet of Sanditon after the wedding, the gossips soon moved on to other targets.

Of course the fieriness of their respective characters meant that they did not always see eye to eye. On occasion they had let their tempers get the better of them, but they had never let the sun set on an argument – a lesson that Charlotte had learned from her mother. When Charlotte had announced she was expecting Kitty, Sidney’s overprotectiveness had kicked in with a vengeance and Charlotte had railed at what she considered unnecessary precautions preventing her from doing what she pleased. Things had reached a crescendo one evening, when Sidney having discovered that Charlotte had been at the building works that day, threatened to lock her up with Mrs Griffiths standing guard, if he saw Charlotte within one hundred feet of the scaffolding. Despite being infuriated, Charlotte had sought to diffuse the tension by recreating her best ‘Sidney Paaaw-kuh’ impression, which had made her husband first laugh and then grasp her tightly to him. As he kissed the top of her head, it was then that he confessed that he lived in dread of something happening to her. That his happiness was so great that he feared somehow that the fates would take it away, as they had tried to before. 

In reply, Charlotte had stood on her toes to reach up to put her arms around his neck and place soft kisses along his jaw to the side of his mouth. “I am not going anywhere without you my darling” she promised him with fervour, “you are the other half of me.” She then drew back a little as she smiled cheekily at him. “Perhaps you just need to learn to be content with being happier than you deserve?” Sidney rolled his eyes and then countered such cheekiness with a kiss so thorough that Charlotte completely forgot what she had been teasing him about.

Back at the beach Charlotte eased herself out of her canvas seat and went to join Sidney and Kitty looking at shells near the water. “Mama, dada “ Kitty crowed excitedly and her parents took a hand each and swung her into the air much to her delight. Sidney and Charlotte looked at each other over Kitty’s head before Sidney leaned in to gently kiss his wife. “Are you happy my love?” he asked. Charlotte smiled in reply, her eyes full of love, “I could not be happier Sidney. I truly bless the day I came to Sanditon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it, my little HEA with a little Sidlotte fantasy family to overcome the disappointment of not having a second season. Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement - what a lovely group you are. I had never written before so am pleased to have met my objective of managing to finish it, but obvious apologies for lack of polish and proper plotting. I look forward to reading other stories now without fear I might inadvertently share a storyline!


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